ROCK OF AGES
Reviewed by Jenny Sandman
Published 10/18/2008

If you watch VH1 Classic obsessively and are patently unable to walk past a karaoke joint without blasting “Livin’ on a Prayer,” then you’ll love Rock of Ages. Then again, I was seriously afraid Act One would end with both Whitesnake and jazz hands (it didn’t, but just barely), so caveat emptor.

The show takes place on LA’s Sunset Strip during the late 80s, once ground zero for the rock world. The Bourbon Room, a famous rock club, is being forced to close by developers. Can the young rockers save the day, and still find love? They’re led by a Jack Black-esque narrator, Lonny (Mitchell Jarvis), his somewhat doofy protégé and rocker-wannabe, Drew (stage name: Wolfgang von Colt), played by Constantine Maroulis, and his love interest, Sherrie, fresh from Kansas (Kelli Barrett).

It’s not so much a musical as it is a collection of the 80s’ greatest hits, sung by actors. There’s not much pretense of a story to hold the show together. But the audience didn’t care—every song was a nostalgia trip, complete with sing-alongs and people dancing in the aisles. I haven’t seen people so worked up over Warrant since my tenth-grade high school homecoming dance. The actors are all clearly having a great time, and they can hit the high notes with the best of ‘em.

Once you take away the nostalgia adrenaline, there’s very little left. True, the show doesn’t take itself seriously, and takes ample opportunity to make fun both of itself and of musicals in general, but there’s still something off-putting about hearing Twisted Sister and Poison rendered as show tunes. But Mitchell Jarvis as Lonny the narrator injects just the right amount of insouciance—if the show were all hard rockin’ dudes and glittery women, even the awesome 80s soundtrack couldn’t save it. There are plenty of inside jokes: “The Bourbon Room” is an obvious stand-in for LA’s venerable Whiskey A Go-Go club, and front man Stacie Jaxx of Arsenal is another obvious amalgamation of every 80s hair band front man (note the obvious similarity between his name and that of Nikki Sixx, bassist for Mötley Crüe). All the clichés of the 80s are there—big hair, skintight spandex, acid-washed jeans and too much eye makeup for both the men and the women, with the treble turned up way too high.

Rolling Stone writer Rob Sheffield was right. Love is a mix tape. Rock of Ages is great fun for all you 80s music fans.

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